Last ditch

Well, i talked to her last night. I tried to lay things out as i saw them, and she can take it or leave it.

I don't believe that any mistake defines a person. I also know that this month in my life will shape who i am, it does not show who i am. Is it worth throwing away more than a year of progress, a year of good things, a year of memories, and many years to come of equally fruitful friendship, because of the sting of pain?

Some would say, its easy for me to suggest this seeing in as how i am the bad guy here. But you know, i've been hurt too. So have you. And we've all hurt other people. You know what i've learned? Theres never a good reason to throw away a friendship. Never. The world turns, time goes on. In months, maybe a year, this all will fade. People change. the mistakes of a turbulent young life do not define the person they will become.

My father is the person i respect most in the world, the most wise and compassionate man i know. If you looked at his past closely however, you'd not see the same man who stands here today.

I do not compare myself to him, as no one comes close to his calibre. But his situation rings with a single truth; Who we are is defined by how we react to our mistakes. In time, any one person can learn from thier past and become new as a result.

Condemn me, those who will. But look closely at yourself. From what mistakes were you created? What terrible things have you done? None of us are bad people. We are merely humans, and we are all learning.

You can believe anything you like, but here is the simple truth.

I've changed. And if you think so or not, means nothing.

Nothing as powerful as love is worth throwing away, for any reason. Wounds heal. Trust builds. I do not want to try and justify myself, merely move on.

Sara had faith in me. I must continue on in that light, doing everything i can to improve my life, just like i have been.

I can't control what others do, only myself. And here i must try to be as cordial and graceful as i can, and take whatever i get from this. I do not deserve grace, but then... who does?