Lonliness and depression go hand in hand. They're like two halfs of the same clock, and each half serves its own unique purpose. On the one side, you have the time spent wallowing in self pity and darkness, and on the other side you have the time spent empty and alone.

Even with a million friends, even with a few close ones, alone still follows me. No one has what i need... or no one is capable of meeting my astronomical expecations. Maybe i demand too much. Maybe i just can't be helped, period.


So you're reading this and saying... "What? another post about how miserable he is? You've got to be kidding me! What ever happened to angry, entertaining stuff?"


Fuckoff, homeboy. This is my god damn blog and i'll post whatever the fuck i want. I want to feel sorry for myself and rant about poor, discontented shit? Then sobeit! I will sit here and type about my brilliantly fucked up state of mind until my hands start to bleed.


I have to be up at 5am every day this week for work. 5am.

fuck them.


the money i make is not mine, it all goes somewhere else.

fuck them.



I'm sick of the shit floating around here. its ridiculous. All sorts of pointless melodrama and just... just absolutely stupid blind people. Everyone needs some big shit to keep going, something stupid to shoot off at the mouth about. Everyone should get a nice blog and shit thier pants off in it like i do instead of blowing off outside in the real world where i have to hear it.

Granted, as of late i've been spewing forth my fountain of feces into the real world as well, but fuck, how much nothing can i take before someone is going to hear about it?


There is a difference between being alone and being lonely.


I'm alone.

How do i know? What is alone? Whats the difference?

Well, ask youself this... and i mean every god damn person who reads this...


Where the fuck have you been when i needed someone?



Do i have to ask people for help before i'll get it? Do i need a sign? A big, giant, neon fucking sign? Or am i just too far gone for your frame of expertise? Who the FUCK out there has ANYTHING they can FUCKING say to me that will make me feel ANY FUCKING BETTER THAN I DO RIGHT FUCKING NOW.


Angry at me yet? Mad? Pissed off? "I help joe plenty! I'm his friend, what the fuck is he talking about? That selfish bastard, he fucking thinks everyone is just going to spin around and bend over backwards to make his pathetic life better? Fuck him! He doesn't do shit for me and i'm not going to bust my ass doing shit for him. He creates his own god damn problems and he can fix his own fucking problems too. He's just too god damn lazy. Fuck him."




HEY ANYONE!!! WELCOME TO MY BLOG!!! WELCOME TO MY ANGRY SHIT LOADED POST! WELCOME TO BLAH DEE BLAH DEE BLAH FUCKING DOO!!!



Jesus christ...


fuck it all...


know what? Don't come back. don't read this shit anymore. Sure, i'll have some shit here that will entertain you from time to time, but don't fucking come here looking for me, i'm not here.

What you see here is not me. What you see here are the remains of a shell i wore until i posted. These posts are husks of the emotion i've felt all day. These posts mean you've missed your opportunity to see these things in me, and now i'm smearing them all over this blog. Once they're here, they're gone. I pack them away and i'm finished until i have to explode all over this fucking blog again. Tomorrow, you'll ask me if i'm ok, and i'll say absolutely. I found someone who helped me out, his name is Me, and he was so kind as to borrow all my problems for a few minutes so i could breathe.

So i could be peacefull for a time...


But he'll have to give them back soon.