...

I've never been so alone.

Sleep is almost impossible. Even in my calmest states i lay awake...

Only exhaustion gets me to fall to sleep. I can't help but feel like i'm just laying my head on the worlds slowest guillitine. If i could, i'd sleep until the answer came...

My only real escape is distraction. But once the people go away or to bed, i'm left alone to my own devices again.

And i lay awake.

I watched a spider traverse Brandon's walls and ceiling the other night. After a half hour, i decided to kill it. I picked up the Gran Turismo 4 case and raised my arm to smite it, and i stopped. "who am i to kill you, spider?" i said to myself. I laid back down.

I've never been so empty, never been this hollow inside.


And despite myself, i still hope...