Some interesting title.

I can't say half the shit i want to in here. In fact, lately, i can't say hardly anything in here. If i said what was in my head, people would be up in arms, or confused, or worried, or something. I can't just think into this blog anymore.

I sit and i type and a bang out some mildly amusing post, which is then read by six people (if i'm lucky). I have to make sure i don't mention this or that, and i can't really say how i feel about this thing or that thing, because then i'll be hung.

So i avoid the subjects, and i just post on kosher topics. You might know i'm discontent, but you won't know why.

Whenever i sit to talk to a human being about the shit that keeps me up at night, i'm at a loss as to what i should say. I usually begin sentences with "I dunno, man."

Because i guess i dunno, man.

Cue villian post.

Well, the world is up in arms over something i did/said/may have done/said.

Well, not the world, just a select few people.

And of course, Rachel CND called me unable to sleep, and i managed to fuck it all up and probably just piss her off. Her display name was something to the effect of i don't need a man, damnit. Sounds good eh? Well i wouldn't be operating in true joe form unless i managed to shoot my true joe form foot.

But you know what? Its ok. I talked with some folks on the phone, and they seem to not hate my guts.

[23:13] stevie p LVC: i'm a firm believer in karma
[23:13] stevie p LVC: you get out of the world what you put into it
[23:14] Saberone DC: yeah well, apparently i put shit in

I'd hate me too, but thats a bit too cliche and deadjournaly.

Apparently, i am not as hot as doppleganger. That was a nice thing to read when the day was going to shit. Unfortunately, its true. He is significantly better looking, i think. I'm sort of a cross between a Vangoh and an MC Escher painting.

So thank you, Rachel from doppleganger land, for the acute observation concerning our relative hotness.

I think i simply enjoy doing whatever the fuck i want at the time so much, that i just let the exhaust from my joemobile brain to taint the rest of the proverbial countryside. I can't point a finger at anyone and say "You! You stole my gerbil!" because i probably forgot to close the cage, or maybe i fed it too many steroids out of curiosity, and it broke free from its bonds and subsequently attacked japan.

Now i kinda wish i had a gerbil.

I know that when i begin work again, hopefully sometime close to monday if i can get my procrastinating ass to do it, i will feel better. Its a distraction combined with money, and it sounds nice.

Details of the other me

Mr. Schell Doppleganger (i have a feeling i butchered that word) has posted a clarifying bit of info concerning, uh, us. It is as follows:

Date: 11/29/06
I've been found out by the other Joe Schell. He posted about it a few days ago and i didn't notice until today. He noticed incoming traffic to his blog and through some internet-sleuth work he found this page. Hmmm. So hello to the potentially larger-than-normal audience. I'm a few years older than my namesake, and Rachel is not my significant other. (It's not that i'm embarassed to be around you Rachel (though i am :) but joe mistakingly mentioned you were my gf.) She's just a friend of mine. Do Joe and I have anything in common besides our names? I'm not so sure. I like videogames, but not shooters or action games so much. I don't own or think it would be enjoyable to own a gun. I don't own or take pride in my car. I don't have Joe's rebellious manner, instead I work for the government. I don't have Joe's easy way with girls, though I could be worse. What else. I live near DC and I am good at two things: drinking warm, cheap beer and not being bothered by it, and playing tekken. I emailed Joe, but other than having the same name (hopefully his middle name isn't Richard) I don't think we'll have much to talk about. I do enjoy his blog though. It's almost like watching a soap opera where the main character has your name. You'd watch that too, don't even try to deny it.

Apparently i have a way with girls. Funny, i don't seem to ever keep one, nor do they beat down my door to have at me. Which is plenty fine by me, seeing in as how i'm far to cranky in the morning to deal with women beating down the door that isn't actually on my room. I have caution tape stapled in strips which hang from the doorjamb.

He drinks beer, so do i. I stick to guinness though. He plays tekken, i play... well whatever really, but i suck at tekken.

We did e-mail each other, but as the Joe Schell indiginous to the northeastern united states has been known to display in the past, we are loners and do not travel in packs. We are merely mildly amused by each other's existance.

And typos. Which he has significantly less of than i.

I suppose my life sort of is a soap opera, but i cause most of it (deliberately and inadvertantly) so i can't complain.

And my middle name is Daniel.


Same phylum, different species i guess.

Or something like that.

What a pen artist does when he's handed a pencil.

Oh the things i want to stick in here file-wise and cannot. Why?

I left my power cable abroad, and so all of my nifty files, which i had intended to post, are not here. Brilliant eh?

SO, here we go on te brief and disoriented update:

Was at the diner with Steve Whiskeyman, his brother Scot, and the rest of the "lately" crew till about 3 or 4 am. Rocked. Sketched some shit i'd never attempted before, and it actually turned out well. Very cool.

Procrastinating on the job thing, which SUCKS, but i tend to fuck myself lately, so not a big surprise. Soon, reality will set in and the world will dissolve. sweet.

Music things are going well, spending time working on more barely-listenable junk. Yay.

Uh... what else...

not alot. Tomorrow, hopefully there is liquor and friends, and then more doodles and tunes. Who knows.

God damn i'm wired. Jesus i need to sleep...

auuugghh

fuck.

massive attack is EVERYWHERE!

Got this idea from Scot w-man

11.29.2006

Heh.

Here's something funny I found on my friend's facebook. Instructions are as follows:

"1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool...just type it in man!"

Opening credits:
Massive Attack - Dissolve Girl

Waking up:
Kruder and Dorfmeister - kieser-velten--dubolition (hilarious if you listen to it)

First day of school:
Kruder and Dorfmeister - Original Bedroom Rockers

Falling in love:
Massive Attack - Joy Luck Club (sounds vaugely appropriate)

Losing virginity (ha):
Massive Attack - Karmacoma (The Napoili Trip Remix) HAHAH

Fight song:
Hooverphonic - Tuna (haha)

Breaking up:
Tosca - Fuk Dub (haaksman Version)

Prom:
Massive Attack - Everywhen

Life:
Massive Attack - Risingson (Otherside Remix) (which kicks ass)

Mental breakdown:
Massive Attack - Man Next Door (which is hilarious, because i fucking hate this song)

Driving:
Kruder and Dorfmeister - Chocolate Elvis

Flashback:
Hooverphonic - The World is Mine

Getting back together:
Massive Attack - Unfinished Symphony Intsrumental (which is terribly ironic)

Wedding:
Massive Attack - Sly (Underdog Mix) (really bizzare choice)

Birth of child:
DORIS DAYS (Kruder & Dorfmeister Remix) - To Ulrik M

Final battle:
Massive Attack - Teardrop

Death scene:
Prodigy - Breathe (wtf? where was this track when the Final Battle came along?)

Funeral song:
Count Baic K and D Remix - Hide and Seek

End credits:
Thievery Corp - Air Batacuda


yeah, i have a SHITLOAD of massive attack on my hard drive. In fact, i have every original, every remix, every LP and EP, every live proformance recorded... i have alot.

A long silence

Well, here i am posting again. Long time without it, eh?

Allow me to sum up the last few months in a nutshell. Its been insane, to say the least. I sort of wish i had kept better track of it, but alas, i did not.

Rachel and i got back together after a slew of events involving us seeing one another again, and things went well for a time. Eventually though, my beatnik lifestyle got the best of us, and it drove her nuts. Insane. She broke things off, two days before i was supposed to visit. Ultimately, i did go visit. Weird. I was there for a week, and without explaining the entire thing in detail, let me say it went well.

Still though, we weren't attached.

(note, this is another post best served with some triphop.)

After this visit, we were enamored with each other, to say the least. As time went on though, the distance and lack of genuine commitment got to the both of us. Once again, despite not literally being together, we decided (reluctantly) to cut things down to a bare minimum. We've not spoken for a few days now.

The world here is not much better. After my week long trip to CND, i returned home to a blank schedule at work. My boss was being an asshole. Big surprise. Well, i didn't want to take any shit, and he couldn't be straight, so i said "fuck you" and killed subway off.

Problem is, its been nearly five weeks without work.

How i am not dead, i do not know.

So now christmas is on the way, and i'm nearly broke. Credit is all i have, which sucks, but eh... i'm an idiot so it'll work.

Having no job translates into A. no money and B. lots of free time. This sucks. I stay awake all night into the morning hours and then sleep until 4 or 5pm. Then, i g out into the world with whatever friend, and exist outside my bed for a while. Then i come back.

it sucks.

There were one or two females interested in me for a time, and although i'm not in any position to date or give half a shit about most of them, it was a nice distraction. But as the laws of my life dictate, once i am free to do as i please, the potential prospects of distraction slip into the realm of... not here. It sucks.

I survive on communication, and without a variety of said communication, life gets boring.

Right now, its boring.

I agonize over something to do. I am constantly and consistently bored. I have been writing music here and there, but nothing satisfies me. My sketch art progresses slowly, although i still have very little drive to actually do anything.

I have some new ideas for my spraypaint stencil art, which involves layered plexiglass. it should be nifty.

Right now, i need a job and i need some kind of interpersonal or artistic diversion. Which i have none of. none.

I feel, essentially, useless.

Being an artist is miserable. There are too many of us, and despite my work, i'm still just a run-of-the-mill stereotypical artist beatnik who receives the praise of friends for being "interesting" or "talented".

Interesting and talented don't pay my bills.

Soon i will redesign this here blog to match my website. But, without money, who knows when i can drop some on keeping this server running.

Dissolve, world, around me now.