Holy shit man.

I am exhausted. I am so tired, its insane. I'm one red bull down, and still tired as hell. I am depressed in a tired sort of way. I have to close the store tonight, too.

And to top it all off, i came home to see my cat slowly bite down into the most cute, innocent chipmunk you ever saw in your life.

It died.

I hate life.

How am i supposed to know god damnit?!

Recently, i had a conversation with a mr Kyle Hoffmann about a rather interesting subject. You're intrigued, i'm sure.

We were standing out back, behind my glorious subway, and discussing goings on and general nothingness. Eventually, he brought up a specific thought whilst listening to a recent musical (and i use the word music loosely) production.

"Did lindsey call you?" (lindsey being his ex-girlfriend, friend of mine)
Nope, She didn't call me. Why?
"Well aparently that music she showed to her friends at the dorm got into some club in DC."
...what?
"Yeah, she said some of the guys showed it to some other guys, and now its being played in a club somewhere in DC."
Really.

Now, i am skeptical to say the least, as this is a prime example of a friend-of-a-friend-told-my-cousin kind of story, but it would be damn cool nonetheless.

Of course, my immediate reaction is... do i get paid for this? haha

But on top of all of that, i have been getting decent reviews from the people who hear my material, and every once in a while i even manage to write something i myself enjoy listening to. I still lack the extra-tidy and polished production that ultimately i long for, but that can be credited to my laziness and not my ability. I simply don't ever finish completely anything i start writing.

So, this bears the question... when do i approach a label? I have a few options as to where to go, and i know who they represent. Often times, i can compete quite closely with the groups they sign, and in recent time i have managed to rise above several of them on internet based chart systems. Which means jack shit. The internet is a waste of time, really.

Metropolis Records has signed a variety of bands, groups, and individuals who are either amazing or suck terribly. The point is though, they sign people like mad, or so it seems. Granted, they ones they do sign an generally pretty good, but i've heard some shit too.

Now, the real question here is, can i get signed. And is now even the time? My brain tells me no. Screams a resounding NO. Its etching NO into my forehead.

Why?

Because i can produce better. Alot better. I know i can. However, i have yet to si down and actually do it. Figures.

So at this point, i sit within this mediocre box which i have built, and must decide how i am going to escape this box. I need something people will want. I need something people will go out and buy. I need something that has a soul to it, something that can be related to and pulled from. Not just something that sounds good, i need to produce a sound and a message that people can hear and say "yeah, yeah i fucking like that." I want to produce something defining, not something that just fits the bill.

And god damnit, it sucks. Because i have no idea if i can do it or not.

heh.

[13:09] Rachel: my eyelashes look puuurty in the first one
[13:09] Rachel: :D
[13:09] Rachel: well, on my left eye anywa
[13:09] Rachel: y
[13:09] Joe: you always look beautiful...
[13:09] Joe: *sigh*
[13:09] Joe: you give me buttflies.
[13:09] Joe: ....
[13:10] Joe: fuck my god damn keyboard
[13:10] Rachel: rofl
[13:10] Rachel: hahahahha
[13:10] Rachel: i'm sorry...
[13:10] Rachel: it's ok
[13:10] Rachel: i know whatyou meant
[13:10] Joe: *shakes head*
[13:10] Joe: gotta love those buttflies
[13:10] Rachel: ahahah
[13:10] Rachel: i can't stop laughing now
[13:10] Rachel: ok.. ok.. i've controlled myself
[13:10] Joe: what an excellent typo, if i do say so myself
[13:11] Rachel: yes yes gj

What does S1DC mean to the real world?

In the previous post, i had to sift through tons of results to get legit "me" related things.

If you search for "S1DC" in google, you gets tons of deviantart links, and tons of shit about this thing called Dictyostelium myosin s1dc. So, i tried to find out what the hell that is. The answer is far from simple, and all i knew for sure was that it has something to do with biochemistry. i have one specific article that sorta says... something. It more or less references, it doesn't say much solid.

ATPase kinetics of the Dictyostelium discoideum myosin II motor domain.

Kuhlman PA, Bagshaw CR.

Department of Biochemistry, University of Leicester, UK.

Structural characterization of the mode of interaction of nucleotides bound to myosin has relied upon the crystal structure of the Dictyostelium discoideum myosin II motor domain. This fragment, denoted S1dC, lacks the regulatory domain and light chain subunits and may therefore fail to display the normal ATPase activity of the intact myosin molecule. Here we show that the elementary steps of the S1dC ATPase pathway and the effects of actin are similar to those of the complete myosin head fragment. This indicates that truncation at residue E759, with the removal of the light chain binding sites, is not crucial to catalytic activity. In particular, S1dC does not show the anomolous tight binding of ADP displayed by slightly shorter M754 construct reported elsewhere. We also show that the fluorescent analogue Cy3-EDA-ATP is a good substrate for S1dC and demonstrate the use of fluorescence correlation spectroscopy to determine the affinity of Cy3-EDA-ADP using microgram quantities of proteins.

PMID: 9682136 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]

Ok, so most of you skimmed that and read nothing. me too. its boring and makes no sense to me whatsoever. So, i go to Wikipedia to find something about the specific elements of the name.

Wikipedia has some info on Myosin, which apparently is found in muscle fiber, particularlly Myosin II, which deals with muscle contraction. an S1 fragment is a complete head and tail of Myosin II ("Myosins are a large family of motor proteins found in eukaryotic tissues. They are responsible for actin-based motility." - wikipedia)

as i dig deeper into this mystery, i find something... odd. Very strange, and very much lacking some cool scientific thing i can tack to my alias' meaning. However, somehow i'm not surprised that my alias has something to do with... *sigh*, slime. Biochem students must laugh at me when they hear my name. How am i related to slime, you might ask?

DICTYOSTELIUM
which is

Dictyostelid

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Dictyostelium)

Scientific classification
Kingdom: Protista
Phylum: Amoebozoa
Class: Mycetozoa
Order: Dictyosteliida

The dictyostelids are a group of cellular slime moulds. When food (normally bacteria) is readily available they take the form of individual amoebae, which feed and divide normally. However, when the food supply is exhausted, they aggregate to form a multicellular assembly, called a pseudoplasmodium or slug (not to be confused with slug the animal). The slug has a definite anterior and posterior, responds to light and temperature gradients, and has the ability to migrate. Under the correct circumstances the slug matures forming a fruiting body with a stalk supporting one or more balls of spores. These spores are inactive cells protected by resistant cell walls, and become new amoebae once food is available.

Cool. so i'm a slime mold that basically moves around. Fan fuckin tastic. But hey, the word pseudoplasmodium is damn cool, and worth naming a track after, eh?

I'm sure there are people out there who aren't surprised at all about this. heh.

Places i didn't know i was on the Net, and a huge fuckin surprise.

Check out this nifty list of spots my name or art shows up, and i didn't even know.

the last one is a real kicker for those who have known me a long time.

This is some foriegn guy's flikr page, and he stuck my vector piece "Damn." up. I'm not sure if i should be flattered or annoyed. heh.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sal/220369679/

This guy used some of my stock renders to make this nifty abstrakt piece.
http://www.gfxvoid.com/forums/showthread.php?t=9758

this guy on DA has me listed as a good artist. heh. don't know the dude, i don't think.
http://cre8tive.deviantart.com/

Ironically, someone else who likes "Damn"
http://thedudenextdoor.deviantart.com/

Some random Wink.com search that has been cached has me listed second from the bottom.
http://wink.com/vertical%20urban

apparently i'm listed on Soundlift.com
http://www.soundlift.com/band/music.php?id=103513

This last one is the absolute shit, the fuckin breaker, absolutely insane. I'm not posting the link, but i will say that there is STILL an online reference that reveals what the DC on the end of S1DC stands for. I stumbled accross it, and it was shocked. Ever since i can remember, i've refused to tell people what it stood for, a kind of ongoing joke. I invented it when i was 13 or so, so its ancient. Well, about that same time, i made something with the full explanation of the acronym contained within it. Its out there. I'm more than surprised. I'm shocked.

Interesting though, eh?

We'll see if anyone else can find it.